a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
- instant cute outfit with minimal effort
- it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
- sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
- u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know
disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
Guys think they’re totally not cute lol
the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus
"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in
The wheels take impact and stress off your legs, and the position helps your spine, but you’re still doing running motions instead of biking motions, so your legs are getting a good workout, and you can go for longer
nerdy shit aside, iamgine how sick it must be to just let those feet fly into the air and do superman poses down a highway
"Nerdy shit aside u can act like Superman"
this is the best thing in the entire world
she should greet jane as if nothing happened and see how jane reacts
she should avoid school the next day. And the next. Every night, she should put on the exact outfit she had on that day, hose herself down until she’s completely drenched and stand in Jane’s yard. When Jane is home alone, she should approach the window, staring at her. Knock on it if you don’t have her attention.
That’ll get her back for killing you and trying to hide the evidence.
Ease up there, Satan.
Ease up? SHE TRIED TO KILL HER
god bless that last comment